But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
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