Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
