she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
