I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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