So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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