Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
