perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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