It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
The only downside is I can't stop skipping