erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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