Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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