dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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