Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
