I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
