He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
