So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
