i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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