Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
