So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
