You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
