He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
