Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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