i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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