9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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