It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
