If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize