do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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