He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
