I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
