There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
