The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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