Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
