and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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