Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
