i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize