next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
