You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
