Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Randomize
