i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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