What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
