my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
