Her vagina should come with caution tape.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
