i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
well I can't set my house on fire every night
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
