I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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