Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
