just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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