therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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