If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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