Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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