so that wasnt chicken after all
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
