do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
