yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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