i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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