My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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