no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My penis needs a shock collar
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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