Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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