I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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