Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
