no, he came in my armpit
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
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i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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