I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
