We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
